In which I think about parenting and exercise...

I've been really struck recently by my role as a mother to teenage boys.  I have one teenager and one tween.  I'm trying to raise them to be healthy boys who will one day be productive adults.  God willing they will marry one of your daughters and make a life together.  I hope that life is as full of joy (and challenges) as my life has been.  I hope they are good, kind, and helpful husbands who are both strong and gentle.  I hope they provide for their families and love the work that they do. 

It was brought to my attention that by age nine most boys have viewed pornography on the internet.  That means that both my boys have likely looked at pornographic websites.  I think pornography is a plague on society.  I think it harms boys before they become men, it destroys healthy sexual relationships and it destroys the lives of both men and women involved in the industry.  It is an addiction that causes great harm.
So the first thing I did when I read that statistic is lock down their internet usage.  I want them to have happy, healthy sex lives when the time is right for them with a partner who they know and trust.  Ideally I think this should be in a married relationship.  That's the ideal.  I'm a realist but I also think you have to set the standard somewhere.

So far I haven't let either of my kids go on Facebook.  I'm a bit of a hypocrite on this one because I am on FB almost daily.  However today I decided I was doing the right thing.  More than one of my "friends" posted a link to an exercise video/website/challenge with a picture of a woman that did not look fit to me.  She looked like a porn star.  These everyday moms and housewives were encouraging and challenging each other to a fitness program that held up a "porn star" look as the ideal.  Now I don't actually look at porn so I am hardly the one to decide she looks like a porn star.  If you look at porn then perhaps you will disagree and tell me that porn stars look nothing like that but in my mind the fake boobs ballooning out of her "fitness top" and the overly accentuated crotch in the tiny "boy shorts" with the excessively skinny thighs did not look real.  Nor did the dark tanned and oiled skin and the pouty, am I sexy lips.  I am not inspired.  I am disgusted.  What about the poor teenaged boys who will click on that link and watch that work-out video.  If my son was on FB he probably would click on it too.  I'm glad he isn't.  But he will be in the future I'm sure.  Protecting our kids from porn is not possible.  We have to talk about it.  But now I realize that we have to talk to our friends and our colleagues and our kids.  We all have to say no to this.  What if your son became addicted to porn?  What would you say to his wife in the future when she tells you that they don't have a healthy sex life because his brain has been re-wired to only be turned on by the sexual images he grew up with on the internet.  What then?  I think it was John Mayer (who was dating Jennifer Aniston for a while) who would rather watch porn than be with a woman.  His brain has been re-wired to find satisfaction in something that isn't even real.  Do we want this for our young men?  I don't.  I want my sons to grow up and have a real relationship with a real woman who loves him unconditionally and who he loves and treats as the most precious gift in his life.  Even if she doesn't look like a porn star.  Which, let's face it, she likely won't.  Because not many of us do.  Nor should we want to. 

I want to be fit and healthy.  I want to be able to go for a hike in God's great outdoors and enjoy my family.  I want to put on a bathing suit and swim with my kids in the lake in the summer because it's fun.  I also want to be able to deadlift over 215 lbs and keep my gym wall ball record (100 wall balls in 7:12 since you asked).  And I want to look good doing it..  But looking good to me is looking real.  Having the skin, hair and boobs that God gave me.  With wrinkles and stretchmarks and scars and blemishes.  And I want my husband to look at me like I'm sexy and healthy and beautiful.  So let's stop looking at porn stars for inspiration and start looking at the real women around us who live real lives, squeeze in their exercise on their lunch breaks or while their kids are at dance, rely on a bar of soap to take off their make up and hope for a decent night sleep at least once a week.  That's the real 1000 rep challenge. 

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A gift for a friend

So my good friend's birthday is coming up and I've been madly trying to make her something by hand. Time is precious these days but knitting is my down time so I don't mind doing something. I hate the pressure though and I often worry if people will love a creation as much as I do!

Here's my options so far.

A scarf perhaps (Silk Ribbon Yarn by Mango Moon):

2. Or this cowl I made last year with silk roses in the yarn (mixed with Malabrigo).

Or maybe some socks made out of Blue Moon Fiber Arts Socks That Rock:

Or maybe something out of this lovely cashmere/silk yarn from Tanglewood Fiber:

I just can't decide what she would like best. This is what I know about her:

1. She's beautiful inside and out.

2. She can knit but doesn't so she can appreciate hand knit gifts.

3. She likes things soft and casual...not buttoned up.

4. She loves her birthday so much she's instituted "Birthday Month" therefore a wonderful gift is very meaningful.

What do you think?

Sunflowers

Sunflowers.

Love them.

Love the colour.

Love that they grow without fuss.

Love that you can look up at them instead of down at the weeds.

Love the autumn when they grow and flourish.

Love them.

Sunflowers.

A woman in denial who is too old for cyberbullying

So I logged onto facebook today to discover a great and fantastic friend had posted pictures of me in my bathing suit. And tagged them. So everyone on facebook who is my friend or her friend got a notification that there are new pictures of me on facebook. Pictures of me in a bathing suit. Unflattering pictures of me in a bathing suit. I am not happy with my weight and my body but I hadn't really thought about how REALLY unhappy I am until I realized how many people who know me have now been alerted to the fact that there are pictures of me in my bathing suit. I lost it. I cried. I wrote nasty e-mails to my dear friend in my head. I thought about eating. Junk food. (but didn't...yet). Then I just wrote a nice polite message that said, "Great pictures from yesterday. Could you kindly remove the pictures of me in my bathing suit." And they were gone. This has given me great insight about cyberbullying and how such an innocent move can be so hurtful. The most harmless intention can be taken as meanness when written out of context or done thoughtlessly. Our kids don't have the maturity and ability to deal with their feelings. They may retaliate against their friends rather than ask politely. I could have gotten angry and posted an unflattering comment or picture about her, if I was 15. Or I could have talked to all our mutual friends about it and made them pick sides. Glad I'm not 15. And, I'm going on a diet. Yikes! Is my butt really that big!? Also, I think I'm done with facebook. I don't need this turmoil in my life. I'm simply too old.

I guess I got busy...

I haven't written a blog entry since June 2008! I don't even know why. My life has been crazy, busy and fun in the last 6 months. My biggest change has been CrossFit. I have been a CrossFitter since about April 2008 but I really got into it in July 2008 and have been doing WOD's (Work Out of the Day) on average 3x week. I am stronger, faster, fitter than I have ever been!
I'm still knitting, running and hanging out with my family...not much is new. Valentines Day this year was a highlight! I decided that I really didn't want to go out for dinner and spend tons of money so I made a gourmet dinner at home. I planned the menu and shopped and the whole family pitched in to make it nice. My husband and the boys set an elegant table using all our finest, or at least, all that we had and filling in with regular stuff if we didn't have enough. We have 5 place settings of my nice Denby pottery and 3 place settings of silverware (that isn't silver but stainless steel). Funny! They boys even dressed in matching outfits. No body ironed their clothes though because we were just staying at home, and no one felt like ironing. That's the difference between going out and staying in.
So now I begin a new attempt at being a blogger. Only I think from now on I am going to keep this as my CrossFit, Knitting, Family blog. Hope my life is interesting enough to read about.

Kids vs. Golden Retriever

10 reasons I think my kids should be more like my dog:

1. My dog always is excited to see me when I get home, bringing me gifts at the door (usually a smelly shoe, but she thinks it's valuable). My kids, grunt and raise an eyebrow, barely glancing up from their TV show, Nintendo or book depending on the day.
2. When my dog wants my attention she looks at me, dances around and tries to show me how much fun it would be to play. When my kids want my attention, they pick a fight with each other.
3. When I want to go for a run, my dog is always a willing participant, dropping whatever she is doing and running for the door. This is also always the moment my kids suddenly notice I am home and need a snack, a permission slip signed, help with their homework, clean socks etc.
4. My dog devours healthy, homemade food like it is chocolate. My kids prefer KD.
5. My dog thinks a good tummy rub is a gift from the gods and looks at me like I descended from the heavens when she gets one. My kids are holding out for a PS3.
6. When I trim her nails, my dog sits still. My kids think it's a form of torture.
7. My dog doesn't need braces.
8. When I want to go on vacation, I can kennel my dog. As far as I know, it is illegal to kennel kids but I haven't tested my theory, yet.
9. My dog doesn't have a hockey game at 8:00 am on a Saturday morning.
10. When my dog pees outside, the neighbours don't complain.

Let sleeping dogs lie.

This is Amber. She loves to run, chase balls, steal shoes, eat and sleep in the sun. Isn't she pretty? She's not really dead, she just looks that way. I saw her eat an ant today. Really I did. Ick. I am considering getting her a friend. Try as she might, she just can't convince the cat to play.

And this is my Patchwork Baby Blanket Work-In-Progress. Every stage of this blanket is taking forever. First the knitting of the squares (err...rectangles actually because I don't know how to measure). That took MONTHS because to be perfectly honest knitting stocking stitch rectangles completely bored me and I just couldn't get into it. I could knit a rectangle in 20-30 minutes and I needed 25 so 12.5 hours of knitting, right? Wrong! I would knit 3 rows, sigh, get a cup of tea, knit 2 rows, walk the dog, put on a load of laundry...you get the idea. Then, finally, I finished all 25 and I spent another week laying them on the bed and arranging and re-arranging them. I couldn't come up with a pattern I liked. Finally, voila, I came up with checkerboard with alternate border. Then it took FOREVER (2 weeks) to seam all the rectangles into strips, then seam the strips into one big rectangle. Of course the next stage, felting, was easy. Throw it in the wash. Done. Now, I have 2 stages left. I have to whipstitch along all the seams then blanket stitch around the outside edge. And finally, last but not least I will crochet chains and needlefelt designs in a few of the squares. I am planning a heart, a swirl and a moon. I might, might, might add the baby's name and birthdate if he hasn't finished college by the time I get to that stage. As it stands he is now 3 months old. I started it 6 months before his due date. Hope he likes warm, wooley blankets! He is a very sweet baby.